When the problems stays behind...

Play the soft music. Use your best headphones. Turn the volume up. Close your eyes and feel how your body lifts up above the bed.

Fly away from your room through the open window. Smell the freshness of the night and brighness of the star. Can you still hear the music? Excellent. Keep floating in the air till your problems appears behind.

Now. Start singing the song as it would be your magic mantra.



But! Be careful. Sunrise will come soon. You have to get back to your bed before the sun shine will kiss your eyes.
Good night!

31 days

What a life!

31 days have passed since I entered to Lithuanian territory. I was going back and playing imagination in my head how I will be meeting my old friends whom I didn't see for more than 2 years, I was dreaming about Lithuanian food and drinks, places I used to visit for daily bases, Lithuanian radio station and all other things which I have mentioned in my previous blog post.

When I met my old fallows, one of the biggest concerns they had about me was: "can you still drink?" Funny, isn't it? I can proudly say that I proved to them and most importantly to myself, that I didn't loose that skill (actually it is a bad, very bad habit). Since the first day at home till yesterday I consumed approximately 20 liters of beer and ~2.5 liters of vodka or similar hard liquor... Now I stopped. But didn't quite. I managed to catch up with most of my friends and finally I settled down.

Now I have another headache. Job hunting. I knew that it won't be easy and I was ready for that. Being in Lithuania I realized that the mindset of employers slightly have changed. When I'm talking to a potential employer I have feeling that they expect from me to make magic things: boost sales starting from the first week (if not - don't even think about bonuses, be glad if we won't fire you).

Rewards or salary. Everybody is aware of fucking crisis in the country and taxes which are raising along with summer heat in the air... But! The harder you work, the higher award you should get. Isn't fair enough? I'm not surprised why companies are complaining about difficulties to find "good" employees. My respond to that is simple: if you want to by winter shoes for USD $5 - be ready to buy another pair of shoes in beginning of the season, because only good quality shoes keeps comfort for more than 1 or 2 years. I sincerely believe that if employer gives me higher salary, I take it as trust in me and I the least what I would like to do is to disappoint him/her and loose position. But I guess it will take time till both sides (employees and employers) will find balance and the market should align labor costs... sooner or later.

And finally - my biggest personal challenge which I can not over come. I went to Pakistan for one and a half year to challenge my worldview, gain professional experience and be recognized for my achievements. Even though I got all those things (more or less) in Pakistan, I find it very hard to sell myself in Lithuania. One thing didn't change in me for sure - it is my natural modesty. Or should I call it as personal complexes..? This one and crucial challenge stops me from getting job of my dream. Most of job offers in Lithuania are either for sales executives (the lowest level) or the top management positions. I don't want to go for the first option after all I have went through being in Lithuania and abroad and I can't apply for the second option because I don't feel being an 'expert' in a specific field: marketing, PR, communication, production, sales, finance, etc.

...but I'm positive and I believe I will get what I deserved at the end of the day. I won't let pressure to keep control on me and won't go for the job offer which I don't like or don't feel like I can do it if all my heart.

Summer came. It should bring positive changes : )

Where are you from?

A few days ago I came back from a trip to India. I went there alone and being a quite small white guy (in Indian eyes - rich tourist) naturally provoked curiosity for the local people. The same as in Pakistan people find the easiest way to approach by asking: Where are you from?

Maybe would be cool to be from one of the largest leading world countries - it would give them a lot of answers by default (without my involvement). However, the reality is totally opposite: I come from a very small, European country, which is quite young and didn't have a chance to stand out especially for the people of South Asian countries like Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and the list can go on...

I tried my best to be polite and patient explaining that I'm from LITH-U-A-NIA! No no! Not Australia! No - it is not a state in USA.
I could go on with my own examples but I will use a quote from a book which I got in Mumbai ("Shantaram" by Georgy David Roberts). I found a very good example which illustrates my experience in both countries (Pakistan and India). Reading the given quote below I remembered my trip to the Northern Areas of Pakistan where my friend Sheeraz most probably was going through pretty much the same flow (a dialog between to guys from village in the bus):

- What is he doing here?
- He's visiting my family.
- Where is he from?
- New Zealand.
- New Zealand?
- Yes. New Zealand. In Europe.
- Plenty of money in New Zealand?
- Yes, yes. Plenty. They're all rich, white people there.
- Does he speak Marathi (one of the languages spoken in India)?
- No.
- Hindi?
- No. Only English.
- Only English?
- Yes.
- Why?
- They don't speak Hindi in his country.
- They don't speak Hindi there?
- No.
- No Marathi? No Hindi?
- No. Only English.
- Holy Farther! The poor fool.
- Yes.
- How old is he?
- Thirty.
- He looks older.
- They all do. All the Europeans look older and angrier than they really are. It's a white thing.
- Is he married?
- No.
- Not married? Thirty, and not married? What's wrong with him?
- He's European. A lot of them get married only when they're old.
- That's crazy.
- Yes.
- What job does he do?
- He's a teacher.
- A teacher is good.
- Yes.
- Does he have a mother and a farther?
- Yes.
- Where are they?
- In his native place. New Zealand.
- Why isn't he with them?
- He's traveling. He's looking at the whole world.
- Why?
- Europeans do that. They work for a while, and then they travel around, lonely, for a while, with no family, until they get old, and then they get married, and become very serious.
- That's crazy.
- Yes.
- He must be lonely, without his mummy and his daddy, and with no wife and children.
- Yes. But the Europeans don't mind. They get a lot of practice being lonely.
- He has a big strong body.
- Yes.
- Make sure you feed him properly, and give him plenty of milk.
- Yes.
- Buffalo milk.
- Yes, yes.
- And make sure he doesn't learn any bad words. Don't teach him any swearing. There are plenty of arseholes and bastards around who will teach him the wrong sisterfucking words. Keep him away from motherfuckers like that.
- I will.
- And don't let anyone take advantage of him. He doesn't look too bright. Keep an eye on him.
- He is brighter than he looks, but yes, I will look after him.

So... I think this small dialog illustrates the best of the pure villager in Pakistan/Indian land. I might be wrong in that, but as my blog name says: Point of View : )